Get Out and Move On: The Heartbreak Edition

Welcome to my first post! I just want to start by saying that although this post is about my own personal experiences with love and loss, I know this post can resonate with anyone dealing with struggles in their work, home, or daily life. I want my blog to be a place that those who love the outdoors can come to and find similar ideas and feelings. Now let's get into it.

 I'm not a very emotional person (outside of the animal version, which I'll save for another post) however, a few weeks ago I found myself dealing with a complete life change: I ended a six year relationship with my boyfriend. This relationship guided me through many milestones and times in my life where I felt that without it, I wasn't myself anymore. How can you go from being a package deal for so long, to single and alone in just a few days? It was debilitating.

 I think we can all relate to that in some way, whether it be work, school, or romantic relationships. You are not your job, just like you are not your relationship. Though I found my passion for the outdoors in this relationship, I also experienced a common theme in my life: mental illness. Without saying too much, I'll just state here that I have had experiences in the depression department throughout my family, and then in my relationship. This was different. This was a drowning depression, one that made me question my own mental health, my decisions, and my memories from the last 6+ years.

That being said, once I started to let go of the idea that I needed this relationship to be myself, I starting seeing changes. I started going back outside, visiting friends, traveling, and jumping back into the outdoor realm that I love. I can't tell you how many times I've denied amazing opportunities and experiences because of my relationship, and it felt so great to just say "yes" to all of them coming my way.

Outside, I feel like myself again. I drive hours away to less visited trails and leash my dog for a day of hiking, and find myself again. I walk along the trail without reservation, without worrying about the time, and without the sound of another. I can really hear things now: the birds chirping, the buzzing of bugs on wildflowers, all of it. The sky becomes clearer, just like my mind. It's something I didn't know I was missing, despite the hundreds of miles I've hiked before.

This also gives me the chance to think without distractions. The sun on my face is a calming presence, whispering "everything will be fine," The wind an encouraging force shouting "You can!" at the unsure and small voice in my mind. These wild places are a refuge to my mind and soul, a constant reminder to let go and push forward. So get outside, and move on one step at a time. 

These photos were taken at Maurice River Bluffs Nature Preserve in Millville, New Jersey.